Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Pre-Op Shenanigans

Lucy had her 6-month check-up on Tuesday where she was cleared for surgery.

She's in the 20th percentile for weight (14 pounds, 13 ounces) and 75th for height. My little model.

She received four shots and let everyone in the clinic know about it! The H1N1 vaccine wasn't available but she was able to get the seasonal flu vaccine. I'm hoping Gillette might have a dose for her during her stay. I don't want to complicate her recovery by getting stricken with any viruses!

Yesterday the Gillette pre-op nurse called me to cover all the details surrounding the operation.

Somewhere along the line, probably because we've be waiting two months now, I convinced myself that this surgery would be a cake walk. No big deal.

But when the nurse started saying things like "eyes swollen shut" and "a port in her neck" all my fears started rushing back.

When Brian got home from work I reiterated all the details I could remember. When I was finished I sighed and said, "This is gonna suck."

"Yep," he said, "It really is."

I hate that she has to go through this.

I hate that she can't nurse for five hours before the surgery.

I hate that I have to drag out my pump again.

I hate that I can't sleep in her room on the first night.

I hate that Brian can't sleep in her room any of the nights.

I hate that she has to have a catheter and a neck port and an IV and two drainage tubes.

I hate that she has to have a blood transfusion.

I hate that she'll be in enough pain to necessitate morphine.

I hate that she might have to stay in the hospital until Friday when we thought she would probably only stay until Thursday morning.

I hate that I don't get to be with William on his final days as a two-year-old.

Somedays I just need to say how much I hate this out loud so I can get it out of my system to make room for the more positive and optimistic thoughts.

Today is one of those days.

2 comments:

Eric said...

Praying for you and Lucy! I have faith that everything will go well!

Ang said...

Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way Jenny and Brian. We'll be thinking of you on Monday. Hang in there! Love, Ang